How to Be a Better Mentor

SKILL 2: BUILDING CONNECTIONS

Great mentors have a person-to-person connection with those they are helping to develop. They let people inside their heads, sharing their visions and passions but also their strategic concerns and dilemmas. Those around them feel “in touch” with the person behind the suit. They tell stories about their own professional development, making it clear that growth is expected.

When Corcoran’s organization started delivering more vigorous mentoring/ coaching to the next level of staff members, he allowed himself to be coached by one of his direct reports in front of his entire finance team. It was not rehearsed. The direct report “went down a path of asking some pointed questions about a position that I had taken. I put myself out there in front of a lot of people who work for me. It was a very powerful teaching and learning experience. It would be very difficult for me to subscribe to mentoring if I’m not willing to do it myself,” Corcoran said. “After that experience, mentoring became an important part of our team’s operating culture.”

Effective mentors are on a mission to know more about their people. They make the most of time spent traveling or lunching together by asking questions like “What are your most challenging business relationships?” and “What projects are you most excited about?” They foster innovation by asking “What skills do you have to offer our firm that we aren’t currently tapping?” Thinking out loud with a mentor allows strategic thinking to emerge.

A mentor’s job is not to “fix” frustrations and concerns, but it is absolutely his or her job to find out about them. “From a coaching view, you are more curiosity-driven; you’re going to encourage the coachee to think for themselves instead of follow. The conversation should be about the person who is being mentored and encouraging them to think imaginatively and creatively about other possibilities or about their role in a situation or problem,” Corcoran said.

Strong mentors are free of the illusion that they must have all the answers. They know that self-confidence grows when people overcome obstacles themselves, not from extra support. Mentors expect discipline, but foster an atmosphere of adventure and creativity.

SKILL 3: CHALLENGE THROUGH PENETRATING INSIGHT

When a connection is established, the door to challenge automatically opens. But many leaders hesitate to walk through. Great mentors keep people on their toes. A junior partner at one of my client’s firm was frustrated when he approached a founding partner about the problem of being stuck in the weeds. “The new generation hasn’t stepped up,” he complained. The founding partner responded with a clever question: “Do you think of yourself as a victim here?” The junior partner was stopped in his tracks, and it got him thinking. “How good are you at building a strong team?” the founding partner calmly but pointedly asked. She had the gumption to shake up the junior partner’s thinking. Mentors act that way. They develop penetrating insights about the professional blind spots of those they want to develop, and then challenge people to face them. Along with technical and business skills, they pay attention to people skills. Whether a talented team member is hesitant or arrogant, clumsy-with-ambition or talented-but-lazy, true mentors skillfully put what they see on the table.

Great mentors “go for it” when it comes to giving people all the insight they have in the service of professional growth. The question: “Do you want to know what I think about you?” is not out of bounds. Subordinates are wondering anyway, and they will make up the answers if they are not hearing them directly. True mentors are blessed with the opportunity to evaluate how various team members respond to this level of challenge. The most mature rise up to meet it; the least mature can’t handle it.

“We face challenges every day in the accounting profession. Mentoring provides a path to personal growth, professional development and self-discovery that helps us face those challenges. With mentoring, we are prepared to confidently tackle the difficult issues that come our way,” Corcoran said.

ENHANCING STRAIGHT TALK WITH HUMILITY

The value of challenging insights is enhanced by humility. One great mentor was known to say, “I’m not the sharpest guy when it comes to client relations, but here is what I see when I watch you operate.” He would then add, “Is there anything in what I’m saying that could help you, or do you think I’m off track?” If a mentor has shared his or her own flaws, and efforts to mature as a professional, penetrating feedback is less likely to be taken personally. What is more likely is that the mentor’s value will increase exponentially. A top performer in one of my client firms, who is receiving great mentoring, said, “When I get approached by other firms, I think to myself, ‘This kind of relationship is hard to replace.’ ”

EVALUATING YOUR FIRM’S MENTORING

The biggest hurdle is making mentoring a priority. For a simple test of your mentoring, look at yourself. Do you have a challenging mentor? Do you meet regularly with your mentor to discuss growth, not projects? What would it take to make that happen? The best way to learn to be a better mentor is to have one yourself. If you have a boss, ask him or her for more-challenging mentoring. If your boss can’t deliver it, find someone who can. If you are a firm leader, consider hiring a professional who can “mentor the mentors,” holding them accountable for starting a cascade of better mentoring throughout the firm.